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Televangelist

by Tyler Scruggs

/
1.
Marjoe 02:28
Consult the pamphlet You’ve got card tricks that need some work I’m getting Carpal Tunnel from the flicked wrists and Babysit visits our Friday nights become And Lord knows I don’t mind driving you home But what happens when the pot’s depleted? And you’re not needed by anyone but me? Nothing, nothing’s up your sleeve And frankly, I’m disappointed But still, believe that Nothing, nothing hurts me more More than you I talked with Kaitlyn, she said “Give it some time, I’d let the dust settle before you meddle in other’s petty crimes.” I’m praying for a message, praying for a sign Oh, what a gift it is to be dying with the Divine! But what happens when the pot’s depleted? And you’re so needed by everyone but me? Nothing, nothing’s up your sleeve And frankly, I’m disappointed But still, believe that Nothing, nothing lets me down More than you
2.
Planned obsolesce like old presidents and midsize family sedans Making cognitive decisions to abandon my pretensions for good Cool is occasional, just like weed and washing jeans Tearing baseballs at the seams Idaho says hi, and we miss you Idaho says hi Getting drunk at high school graduations for your brother I bet he still has that scar Scruffy faces and week-long couch crashings Unfamiliar shampoos and moms "Work vacations" and Oxy'ed morons Friends-of-friends, till the end Going with the flow
3.
Standing in the shower for an hour Looking for someone to blame But all I hear is my name, But I could never take the fame The only thing that really makes sense to me is booze And this book about JFK But all work and no play Made Jack an important boy But the hands on the clock have me by the wrist I’m pissed and I don’t know why I wish I had something to say... Something to die for! But nothing’s in my way... And I wish I had something to do... But my plate is full, And I can’t come out tonight I picked up a few bad habits Along with the best people in my life But they all cause me strife 'Cause I could never put up a fight When nothing on the Netflix looks good And this weekend is a waste And life’s a distant taste And an unfamiliar face But the hands on the clock have me by the wrist I’m pissed and I don’t know why I wish I had something to say... Something to die for! But nothing’s in my way... And I wish I had something to do... But my plate is full, And I can’t come out tonight I wish I had something to say... Something to die for! But nothing’s in my way... And I wish I had something to do... But my plate is full, And I can’t come out tonight
4.
Making Light 03:00
My interpretation of patience is growing thin I wish I could relax, I wish I could sit back And go to the ocean, where the pretty people congregate But maybe that’s not my fate? I wish I could throw all of my problems away Close my eyes and hit the beach and spend the day Making light of everything around me But if I do, I’d be like you, and maybe that’s okay? Waves, wash my feet so I can leave But walking back through the sand makes it worse So I sit, alone, on the shore for a little more And think of you ‘cause that’s all I do But maybe it’s not my destiny? I’m not meant to have my face in the sun When did I become so morbid? When did I become so cold?
5.
I'm scared of how good it feels I'm scared of how good it feels I'm scared of how good it feels with you I'm scared to get lost with you I'm scared to get lost with you I'm scared to get lost without you And if I should ever leave I hope I'm a better man for it And if you should ever leave I hope you're a better man for it And I... can't wait to see you tonight
6.
Your love is a broken mirror I can't wait to see it clearer And if I never do fall in love with you Maybe that's okay? Figuring out if I have upstairs roommates Someone who hears me talk in my sleep Ghosts in my halls My bedstand won't stop vibrating While my eyes they won't stop dilating Evacuation plans 'Cause maybe there's more to it I just don't know I'm an adventurer until it's time to grow Your love is a broken mirror I can't wait to see it clearer And if I never do fall in love with you Maybe that's okay? Tap-tap-tap Tappin' my toes 'till it turns to a dance Restlessness becomes a moral stance Complacent afterlife My bedstand won't stop vibrating While my eyes they won't stop dilating Evacuation plans 'Cause maybe our Star Wars is just Astro Turf And maybe heaven is a place on Earth Your love is a broken mirror I can't wait to say it clearer And if I never do fall in love with you Maybe that's okay? Your love is a broken mirror I can't wait to see it clearer And if I never do fall in love with you Maybe that's okay!
7.
It's a combination of life being unpredictable and you being super dumb Dream clouds go hard like marshmallows dried up from the sun With my mouth full of soap in hopes, my reticence goes unnoticed With my hat brim low and my phone glow, I'll never be alone I know it's hard to face The paradox it creates If you're graceful, they'll hate you But if you're clumsy, then you'll fall The class it takes to wear a white tee shirt without any stains Might've been the one I skipped in exchange for paper planes So, I learned the new dance craze to cut through the corn maze And make some new friends But they've moved on to new trash endeavors, and I'm still the same I know it's hard to face The paradox it creates If you're graceful, they'll hate you But if you're clumsy, then you'll fall Getting through my head: "Everything's fine" The future's not far ahead, just show me where to sign Ignorance is bliss, but so is cliché Hardened and cynical just like a lump of clay I know it's hard to face The paradox it creates If you're graceful, they'll hate you But if you're clumsy, then you'll fall
8.
I'm starting to hate the future Because of its contempt for me And I know that it's human nature To crave security But when I'm all by myself I think and think and think and think some more 'Cause I know that I'm in Hell When I can't hear the voice say: "You'll never be lonely You'll never be lonely You'll never be lonely again
9.
Watching rain race horizontally across your car window As you confess to me what I already know Fidgeting and making the glove box open and close I closed my eyes and felt my way home We're three miles from my house Only buys me so much time to plead If only this played out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound Life in this spacecraft is the coolest form of isolation Until there's danger until I'm scared There's no room for two so I hold on to myself Now there's finally room to breathe We're three-hundred miles above my house Only buys me so much time to breathe Hope this doesn't play out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound We're three-hundred years from now I'm scared too so follow my lead Hope the future plays out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound
10.
I’ve been sober before, but it ain’t ever felt like this And I’ve been angry before, but it ain’t ever felt like this I wish I could convey how I feel just once more I’d pour myself some Pendleton, a little more than before I need to feel less quicker, ‘cause I can’t tell whose skull is thicker Maybe it doesn’t matter? Maybe none of it matters? I’ve been sober before, but it ain’t ever felt like this. I need to feel less quicker ‘cause I can’t tell whose skull is thicker Maybe it doesn’t matter? Maybe none of the matters?
11.
I fall between the chasm of sanity and the construct of my imagined reality. That shit you heard from your friends are exaggerations, But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it to heart I’m a cautionary tale of everyone’s failings, rolled into one But that’s too much credit for someone who once said that the world is not enough This is in memory of all the times I sat alone in my room wondering what you’re up to Rest in peace to loneliness and self-seclusion, ‘cause it’s time to go outside. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the past, It’s to forge it, or forget it! Make out like a dirty bandit, or stay home... and mourn. I fall between the chasm of confidence and struck with anxious paralysis Taking comfort alone for granted and not quite stickin’ the landing Are two of my favorite past-times
12.
Whether we're sharing a bed or our deepest, darkest thoughts It's all just chemicals And whether you're holding me close or you leave me here to rot It's all just chemical, Until it's not My breath is about as long as my patience And I'm aware my problems make you anxious But I heard you're going with another man tonight And I don't mind, but you seem to put chips on others And I know they're not the ones who see you fold 'Cause whether we're sharing a bed or our deepest, darkest thoughts It's all just chemicals And whether you're holding me close or you leave me here to rot It's all just chemicals Until it's not My neck is about as long as I can stretch it And I'm aware that faith can't be bought on credit But did you forget? That I heard you're going with another man tonight And I don't mind, but you seem to put your chips on others And I know they're not the ones who see you fold 'Cause whether we're sharing a bed or our deepest, darkest thoughts It's all just chemicals And whether you're holding me close or you leave me here to rot It's all just chemicals Until it's not Who am I? Who are you? Is this just a chemical reaction? Don't lie Don't lie Just lie here
13.
Watching rain race horizontally across your car window As you confess to me what I already know Fidgeting and making the glove box open and close I closed my eyes and felt my way home We're three miles from my house Only buys me so much time to plead If only this played out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound Life in this spacecraft is the coolest form of isolation Until there's danger until I'm scared There's no room for two so I hold on to myself Now there's finally room to breathe We're three hundred miles above my house Only buys me so much time to breathe Hope this doesn't play out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound We're three hundred years from now I'm scared too so follow my lead Hope the future plays out like it plays out On T.V. Feeling deep, feeling profound But I never made a sound
14.

about

STREAMING NOW: fanlink.to/TStelevangelist

“To be courageous requires no exceptional qualifications, no magic formula, no special combination of time, place, and circumstance.” - President John F. Kennedy

“It's odd, really, watching yourself being replaced on national television. Planned obsolescence. Presidents and mid-sized family sedans.” - President Josiah ‘Jed’ Bartlett

"A lot has changed in the past three hundred years. People are no longer obsessed with the accumulation of things. We've eliminated hunger, want, the need for possessions. We've grown out of our infancy. Our mission is to go forward, and it's just begun. There's still much to do. There's still so much to learn." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

credits

released October 1, 2021

Written by Tyler Scruggs, except "I've Been Sober Before" written by Tyler Scruggs & Jack Allen

Produced by Tyler Scruggs, except "Just Chemicals" produced by Tyler Scruggs & Aceberg

Cover by Mark Morin

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Tyler Scruggs Atlanta, Georgia

retrofuturist swashbuckler navigating the digital frontier through love songs for your Zune. 🌎 💿 📺📠🔮🧔🌵👬♒️ he/they 🍻

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